It has been hard to put into words the complicated emotions that have been swirling through and around me lately. The entire world is hurting and finding joy feels like theft. Everything feels devoid of meaning when there is so so much suffering. Watching human beings being destroyed for resources so I can type on this platform, on a device that was made with exploitation, warm in my home with my happy and healthy children; I wonder if a person can drown in the guilt they feel. I wonder if we deserve to drown in our own guilt.
So that’s where I am at.
I know that I am not alone. The genocides ::gestures globally:: has made our demons known, brought them out, and has made us acknowledge at least a little of our complacency. People deserve life, Palestinians deserve life, Congolese deserve life, Fur deserve life. Children deserve a safe place to grow into who they’re supposed to be. This shouldn’t be a difficult concept. But here we are holding onto absolute grief, because what the fuck else can we do? We’ve donated to aid groups, called our representatives, witnessed protest after protest, and nothing changes. Its an endless nightmare, and we aren’t the people suffering.
If you’re like me and you feel like your drowning in the hopelessness of it all, I invite you to take a break for a minute and knit with me. It can be anything you want. If knitting is too much, that’s okay too. Just sitting is also fine.
I am making the Heliotaxis Pi Shawl, by Renata Brenner. I love the circular shawls. They’re beautiful and meditative.
The point of this project is: Rediscovering our Self. I am making this in a beautiful yellow color, so that when it is complete by the Summer Solstice, I will have this beautiful sun made of love.
Yellow is also the color of the Solar Plexus chakra. This chakra is the center of our self esteem. So each post will come with meditations meant to enhance your self esteem. Think on these as you are knitting, put these intentions into the yarn as you knit each loop. It will hold onto that energy and be a comfort for you when life feels extra hard.
Why am I not starting with something like the root charka? That’s simple, this is where I feel the most anxious in my body. When I have anxiety, I feel like my diaphragm forgets to move, not like I have a weight on my lungs, but the muscles that support the lungs forget how to work. IYKYK. If we want to affect change, we need to fix our own issues too. We need to be healthy on the inside.
I will never be perfect, but I can work on myself. I can’t save the world by myself, but I can do good in it.
Every human deserves to live a happy and healthy life. Mothers deserve to see their babies grow up. Children deserve a good future.
Go out and knit some good.
For more information about the issues and ways to help, I heavily encourage you to go to Amnesty International and Human Rights Watch
Spruce Knits 